Transitioning Your Pre-Teen to Middle School

School transitions can be tough on kids and families. When students move to a new school, they may be filled with anxiety, excitement, fear, curiosity—perhaps all of the above!

Moving from elementary to middle school is a big step: students face more choices in their academics than ever before, which is fun, but also a big responsibility. We’ve created a guide with some tips on ways you can help your pre-teen prepare and transition into middle school.

• Make a schedule: Help your pre-teen create a school schedule that includes time for school work or studying, after-school activities, and free time. This can help them get into a routine and feel more organized. 

• Practice setting priorities: Help your pre-teen learn how to manage their time effectively by setting realistic goals and prioritizing tasks. Students may need help making lists or finding an organizational system that works for them. 

• Create a study space: Create a designated study space for your pre-teen at home where they can focus on any school work and studying.

• Provide opportunities for responsibility: Pre-teens are becoming more capable every day, and they relish chances to exercise their decision-making muscles. Give your child opportunities to take on some responsibility. This could look like taking over responsibility for a part of their daily routine, planning and cooking a family meal, or researching and organizing a family outing. 

• Practice problem-solving skills: Help your pre-teen develop problem-solving skills by encouraging them to think critically and creatively about challenges they may face. Mistakes are a learning opportunity. What went wrong? What led to the problem? How can it be prevented the next time around? Pre-teens can help to find creative solutions to problems both in the classroom and at home.

• Attend back-to-school night: Attend welcome events with your pre-teen to meet their teachers, tour the school, and get a sense of what to expect during the school year.

• Encourage involvement: Encourage your pre-teen to get involved in activities like sports, clubs, or afterschool activities. This can help them make new friends and find their niche at school.

• Talk about social dynamics: Talk to your pre-teen about the social dynamics of middle school and how to navigate friendships and cliques. Encourage them to be kind to everyone and to be themselves. Being YOU is the best thing you can be!

• Keep communication open: Keep the lines of communication open with your pre-teen and check in with them regularly about their school life. For families, this often means learning to reframe questions. Instead of “How was your day?” Try: tell me about the funniest thing that happened at school today, or if there was one part of your day that you could do over again, what would you do differently?

• Celebrate achievements: Celebrate your pre-teen's achievements, big or small, to help boost their confidence and encourage them to keep working hard. Compliment students on their efforts rather than natural skills. Instead of: You did so well on the test, you’re so smart! Try: I’m so proud of the way you prioritized studying for your test this week. I see that your hard work paid off—you’ve learned a lot!

• Understand failure: Failure and trying again are a part of life, but for many students, failing to reach a goal can be very shocking. Students may put extra pressure on themselves or be ashamed to share their struggles. Talk openly about failure and what to do when things aren’t going your way—identify the problems, come up with solutions, and try try again! It’s okay to ask for help, and everyone has things they’re good at and things that take extra effort to learn. Learning occurs through failure—mistakes can be an excellent learning opportunity!

• Have fun!: Finally, don't forget to have fun! Make sure to take time to do fun things together as a family and help your pre-teen find joy in their academic and social pursuits. 

Laura Jeffrey Academy (LJA) is a tuition-free public middle school in St. Paul, MN. Our inclusive, culturally diverse learning environment is open to all students in grades 5-8. At LJA, we develop scholars with big hearts, bright futures and the ability to think critically. They are encouraged to explore their potential, discover their brilliance and develop their intellect.